I wanted to find a miracle on the street
by making brave eye contact
and painting people with words.
I wanted to stare out train windows
and count foreign bills in my wallet,
to understand the neon signs,
and make small talk with strangers.
But I kept forgetting why
I was staring at my textbook;
I played instead with my lighter
and made small words on the Internet.
I spent many trees on bulleted lists
and game plans painted with X's and O's.
I thought, if that place can know me,
then I can call it home.
But I never bought a ticket
with money I never saved.
Words didn't mean anything,
since I wasted them on myself.