You shook me by the shoulders until I quit trying to stand.
I held my knees to my chest and let my balance break. Again.
How many blows does it take, to break?
I heard the first cracks a year ago,
Drowned the sound and the bruises
With hand towel and soap;
Hours in the shower.
Sweat it out, no one will know
How many tears I drain
To make it to tomorrow.
Leave a handprint in the clean steam
And dry myself off,
Like I’ve made a resolution this time,
Like the depression is gone.
You shook me by the shoulders.
I held my knees to my chest.
How many blows does it take?
I’m going to break, but I did my best.
Step away from the fogged glass
Where my ghosts stay to hide.
But I can’t leave my whole past
Like I leave that room behind.
The steam will clear
But I’m out of here,
Because I hate the look of my reflection.
Where my ghosts get too near
And the future I feared,
Is already here like an infection.
But I signed up for this, right?
I signed up for all of it.
The shaking of the shoulders,
The deadlines, like boulders,
Fights I’m too proud to quit.
I’m sinking insanity;
Promises tied to my ankles,
That I accidentally made
When I had an open schedule.
I think it’s one more blow, before I break,
One more sane breath,
And one thing to say;
I’m going to break now, but I did my best.
I don't look anything like I used to,
I did my best.